Haircut

I could still clearly remember how I cried hard while watching The Proposal last night. I'm not crying because of the movie, I was crying because I'm beginning to regret the things that I've done before. I have my own reasons. I know I have good reasons. But I don't know why a simple joke tore my heart and made me cry bucket of tears. I'm not exaggerating. I even consumed one roll of tissue last night. I know that I cried myself to sleep last night. I can see two puffed red eyes when I look at the mirror. I woke with a heavy heart, still full of regrets. I know I'm not ok but still insisted to go through the day normally.

I exchanged few text messages with friends and I found myself crying again. I didn't expect that this will be a big deal for me. He's right, we already talked and what's more important is now because we can't do anything about the past. But I can't help but to blame myself. And up to now, I am still blaming myself.

I had brunch with Papa and Jem. Jem was sick this morning and I'm suspecting that it is swine flu. But thank God that her fever was gone. Papa told his litany again. I asked few questions that I know offended him so much. He is so defensive. And that conversation added to the heaviness that I'm feeling. Ate called and tried to talk to me. But I don't want to talk about things. I just want to stay quiet and cry if my eyes feel like doing so.

I left home and went to the parlor. Cookie was asking me to do something for Manila Feast. As much as I wanted to help, I didn't. I don't want to stay at home. I want to leave. I want to go away. Our house is not welcoming anymore. I felt like a prisoner. So I went out.

I stayed in the parlor for quite a while. I have my new haircut. It is true, if you're not feeling ok, go to a parlor and have a make-over. I didn't have a full make-over. But my hair was shorter and it felt good. I was able to smile at Ate Weng who cut my hair. Then I went home.

I want to be happy now. But I can't help but feel that there's something negative here at home. I just want to stay here in my room, alone. Not talking with anyone. I don't want anyone to talk with me. I am not ok. But I'm trying to be.

I'm still looking for my rainEbow. I haven't found it yet. But I hope that it'll find me soon. :|

When jokes hit you hard (because it’s true)

Sunday was great but Father's day wasn't. Where's the father's day if you don't have a father to celebrate it with? I still have my tampo with papa. Hay. Lord knows why and I think that my reasons are reasonable. But I'll talk to him maybe later, when I'm back into my bubbly and happy mood.

He joked and I should have laughed at that joke, but instead I signed out and cried. If you've probably seen me now, you'll laugh at me (I'm crying again while I'm typing this K). He shouldn't be blamed, he just told the truth that made me realize that I was and will never be worthy of him.

I'm still looking for the rainEbow. I'll find it soon. =)

 

P.S. Sorry Niki for this sad blog. Just when you told me that you love reading my optimistic blogs, I suddenly blogged this. =p

AH1N1, my blessing in disguise =)

JPIA had two successful activities yesterday (which are the last major activities for this semester). The planning, preparations and implementing were exhausting. Sacrifices were made by my officers that put our grades in risk. Even though we haven't answered well Atty. D's neither questions about police power, nor the definition of the Latin words used in Sales, nor read another paragraph of the framework of ISA, nor read the 11-page handout of Ms. Manuel, just by seeing the success of the activities, everything was worth it. I am really proud of my officers. There may be problems, but those are only minor problems. I saw their cooperation and determination to make the activity a success. And I am really proud how they strived hard to work for this. Our activities might look simple for some, but who cares? We worked our butts off and I'm really proud and happy for them.

My health didn't work harmoniously with the activities. I feel really tired. Before the mass yesterday, the news about the confirmed cases of ah1n1 in Beda was already promulgating. And after the confirmation that we will have one week vacation, I felt relieved. I am really looking forward for rest and here it is granted. It is true that AH1N1 is a curse for a lot of people, but I can say that it is a blessing for me. If not for that, classes won't be suspended and I can't have the much needed rest that I badly want. If not for AH1N1, I may end up not going to school for a few days next week because of over fatigue. But God didn't allow that to happen. Praise God!

Today will be my rest day. Sunday will be a day for God and YMPACT. And the rest of the week is for studying. I badly need to study now and utilize my time really well. I can do this through Christ who strengthens me. =)

AOD Welcome Remarks

My welcome remarks during the Accountancy Orientation Day, June 19, 2009. =)

 

Prof. Jofer Llave, Prof. Erick Quijano, my fellow JPIA officers and our beloved freshmen JPIAns, a pleasant morning to all of you!

On behalf of the Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants, your professional organization, I am pleased to welcome all of you on this Accountancy Orientation Day, a special orientation designed to inform you, our freshmen JPIAns about the different policies that are specially designed and strictly implemented in our department.

In your first week as an accountancy student in San Beda, you may have already experienced a sleepless night due to Prof. Alajar's welcome assignment, Laughed at Prof. Palo's jokes or was amazed with Prof. Filamor's animated teaching style.

Those are just the beginning of your roller coaster ride as accountancy majors. A life that is a little different from other courses. A life that will always hear the "ooh" and "aahhhs" from other students whenever they hear that you're a BSA major. A life that requires focus and determination to get the three most important letters beside your name in few years.

Life will be a little different for us, but never box yourself to the stereotyped boring life that they perceive about us. We still get to go to parties, bond with friends, watch movies, attend social gatherings and support our school in ncaa games. But everything comes with limits because accounting should be our priority.

It is true that in a few months time, you'll get to appreciate the simplest forms of rest. A couple of minutes of sleep inside the library is a prize for two hours of continuously solving problems. 4 hours of sleep is already a reward for studying overnight for a major exam. A day of not thinking about worksheets, calculators or the result of your latest exam is heaven. I am just exaggerating. Our life maybe difficult but it can also be fun!

Before I end, let me share to you my top three secrets in surviving this challenging world that we all chose to take. First is prayer, never forget to pray and ask for guidance from God to help you and never forget to say thank you after every simple blessing. Second is my reliable calculator which I'm using for three years now and hopefully until the board exam. And last but not the least, friends. Remember to build strong friendships. Friends are the one you'll be with to cry over a failing exam, copy undone home works with, spend sleepless nights studying, sleep over an accounting book you can't finish reading in the library, laugh at simple corny jokes, watch a movie after a tiring day of exam and most of all survive every single "hell" day still wearing a smile on your face. Friends will be your safe haven in hell.

On behalf of your JPIA officers, I welcome you all to Junior Philippine Institute of Accountants and to Department of Accountancy. We are hoping to see you in our future activities.

Thank you and God bless!

An almost rainy Thursday exception

A rainy Thursday welcomed me this morning. I had a smile on my face because it's raining. =) (rains never failed to give me smile) I read the unread messages from my cellphone from last night. I went to bed early and was hoping to get out of it early. But I ended up waking up at 5:30 am, full of plans on how I would manage my time and study for the rest of the morning. After replying to some text messages, I received one that made me cry because I felt that I was an incompetent President. I tried my best not to cram and repeat the mistakes that my predecessors did. What's the purpose of my experience if I will do the same mistakes?

I am trying to instill to my officers the value of punctuality. But I hate the fact that they can't tell me directly that they can't come early but they can text me directly with some matters. I felt bypassed. I will surely allow them to come late if they have their valid reason. But if they don't, they must be responsible enough to know their obligations as officers. Arggh. I'm pissed. =/

But looking on the brighter side of things, I still prefer to be happy today because God answered the last request I have for this week. I wasn't able to study for audit and tax today because of the leadership chores I did yesterday and I was overly happy when I wasn't called in the recitation a while ago. Thank God for 40! I was hoping for that ever since tax started and He finally gave it at 6:55! Just the perfect time to discuss the questions. I just hope that Atty. D will always pick 40 for the next meetings so that we could learn more. =D

I am not feeling really good at this moment. I am still pissed. But I want to be happy. I want to see blessings more rather than the things that irritate me.

I'll still do my speech. Ciao!

*I pray for the success of our activities tomorrow. =) I just hope that EVERYONE will give their best.

POWER AND AUTHORITY SHOULD BE USED RATIONALLY AND NOT TO MANDATE ON PEOPLE ANYTIME YOU WANT.

Busy Tuesday

Today is the busiest Tuesday in my entire college life. I've wasted 3 hours travelling because of the very heavy traffic in taft. So instead of arriving at school at 8:30am, I arrived at 10:00am. My time was wasted that resulted to a lesser time to study for audit theory (which I had printed for P36 for 24 pages which I hadn't really comprehended) and for sales (which I haven't opened the book up to this moment that I bought almost three weeks ago). Then I went to Tutuban with Santy to pick up the tumblers for Friday, then went to recto for the stickers then went back tired to Beda. When we arrived at school, I wasn't able to focus because AOD and Testi stuffs are suddenly popping in my head and I can't help but be uneasy. :|

I maybe tired and not prepared for my lessons today but God was really good to me. I prayed to Him this morning that I wouldn't be called in law, and true enough, number 3 wasn't called. (I guess it was also a lucky number for me because mama's birthday falls on that date =D ). And even though I wasn't able to correctly answer our short quiz in audit, at least I got 50 instead of 0. =)

I forgot my umbrella in the office so I was forced to walk in the rain. I love walking in the rain, but not now because I already have colds. :| But still, the rain brings me happiness and cools me down.

Just received a bad news because Sir Joseph Cabilitasan (my former CLVE teacher) passed away this evening at 10pm, but I'm happy for him because he already reunited with our Creator and he's in a place where no more physical pain could hurt him. And I know that he'll be in good hands because Mama will be there to tour him around heaven. I just pray for strength for the bereaved family of Sir Joseph especially to Teacher Weng who is very dear to our family. We're really saddened because we can't be with her at this very trying moment in her life while she was with us when Mama passed away last year. Condolence Teacher Weng, we're just here for you. =D

Change topic. No more sad stories.

I saw a lot of old friends today. And they're already taking up law in San Beda. I saw two fellow Lambs and they were shocked and happy to see me there and still in the undergrad (but it's ok, I know that I'll be a CPA soon)

A friend texted me this message at around 9:30pm just when I started working again for our two activities on Friday:

"Ui keren, kahit na hindi ako officer, ramdam ko na andami mong ginagawa. Chill lang. J"

That text message really put a big smile on my face. That was sweet. :) Was I that haggard that even Sir Quijano called my attention again today (for two straight days) because I look sleepy again???

But this is the best text message I received this evening:

"gandang gabi keren graine"

=)

Ok I'm tired. I still have to be in school at 8am tomorrow. I just wanted to blog my busy Tuesday.

It was really tiring but looking at the brighter side, I think I was productive today. =)

I just hope that my meetings for tomorrow will go on well and finish early. I still have a LOT of things to study. :|

Btw, advance happy father's day! (just popped out)

First Day Low? High?

First day of classes but not first day in school again. I really felt tired and sleepy. Sir quijano even called my attention during audit theory because I already fell asleep (waaah). I was called in tax. I can't say that the recitation went well because I forgot that it was "eminent domain" instead of "eminent power". Arggh. And Ms. Manuel, as usual, didn't waste her time doing nothing. Instead, she started her lecture and gave us reading assignments for the next meeting.

To sum it all, accountancy majors looked nerd and haggard on the first day of classes while students from the other courses looked relax. We were the first students who utilized the library and studied in Beda yesterday and we looked like "losers" because we weren't able to enjoy the supposed to be "stress-free" first day.

But who cares if it's "stressful" Monday? We should get used to it, and we should be thankful for it because not everyone has the chance to have a "stressful" Monday in San Beda, learning to be a future CPA. (oh well, just looking at the brighter side) =)

Btw, I'm loving JPIA more especially when I see my co-officers working hard for an activity. I'm looking forward for two successful activities on Friday. =)

I'm signing off to study oblicon. =p later.

Back to school. :|

I feel scared going back to school. Regular classes suck. (I should not think that way. Tsk.) I should learn to love school and studying. This is my last year and I should give my best shot. I can do this. I should be happy. I must be happy. Going back to school is a blessing that not every child is blessed with. Ok, I am happy now and I feel blessed but still scared for tomorrow but I know that God will be with me. I can do this. This is the only way to become a CPA and I will be soon. J

i hateD you! :p

I just realized that it's fun saying these words. It's like "I love you" but not really, somewhat close, almost that.

i hateD you.

Falling…. Into its perfect place :)

Funny how things start to fall into its perfect place again and make you feel loved and cared for. Just when you thought that things will never get back to where it used to be, things just happen happily, exceeding expectations. I'm really happy now and I feel superblessed. J

**Some are taken from us, not to permanently leave us but for it to grow and be the best. So that when it comes back, it'll be ready to care for us more than before.**