Fear

 

 

After praying, bad news came. I need to pray again. I'm so scared. Lord please be with me. :|

020210 No Pain, No Gain

Dearest Lord,

 

I have always prayed for a stress free life; a life without great problems and tragedies; a life to live without worries and fears. And lately, I was victorious about it. Surely, life was not that harsh to me, until today.

 
 

Life was not really harsh, I just realized today that in order to fulfill my dreams, I should remember that I must do everything that I can. I must exert all my efforts and give the best of my abilities. I just realized lately how enthusiastic the people around me to hear that I'll be graduating on April. A part of me is trembling with fear because at the back of my mind, there's an uncertainty whether I would be able to really graduate. But it is true, UNCERTAINTY CREATES HUMILITY. The more I feel the fear, the more I run to You and cling on the hope and desire of my heart that this year will be my year. That whatever plans I have for myself this year, it was You who placed them there and all I have to do is work my ass out, do my part and fulfill my duty as a student and as Your servant. For the past 5 years, You allowed me to experience pain, failure, rejection, hurts. But amidst everything that You allowed me to go through, Your ultimate goal was to make me become who I am today. You surrounded me with a loving family and wonderful friends whose willing to pick me up everytime I fall. You allowed me to have people, and get them from me in the most unexpected moments to make me strong, to make me realize that not everything stays and people will not always stay, they will just pass and try to teach me a lesson that I could never learn if I didn't experience them. You allowed me to lose Mama in the middle of my journey to success to make me trust to You more and to be more persistent to finish college.

 
 

Lord, I don't know what you have for me in the coming days and months. All I know is that deep inside my heart, there is my desire to finish this March and become a CPA on April. The scripture today reminded me that I should need to go through this, that I should learn how to discipline myself so that I may be able to reach my dreams. I know that the coming days wouldn't be easy. It will be full of stress, pressure, deadlines and unwanted circumstances. But You o Lord is my God, the God of impossible and I know that I could trust You. The road to success will never be easy but I know that as long as I have You, as long as I cling on to You, as long as I need You more everyday, I can get through anything. Lord just be with me. I am scared. You know my fears. You know the things that bother me. And whatever I carry in my heart, I just lift everything to You Lord. Continue to bless my life, continue to walk with me every single day. Teach me to trust You more. Teach me be more disciplined. Teach me to be more like You. Just be with me Lord. I love You. Thank You! :)

 
 

Trusting You Always,

Keren