Background music: while I have breath (Mama's favorite worship song)
Today's reading reminded me to trust God without fear. I am often in doubt. I am always afraid. But here He goes again today, knocking on my heart, trying to eliminate the fear that I'm feeling. I am afraid of failing especially in this final stretch. But I don't want to give up my service. I didn't commit to Him last January because of fear. But He is really calling me. I said no a lot of times but I always end up doing the other way. He made The Feast Manila for me. He called me to serve and here I am, following His call. But I am in fear again. Fear of failing in school. I can't afford to fail. Not again.
I've been always praying to Him about this, I never got a direct answer but He is really leading me for service. There was a part in Tito Obet's talk last night about commitment. He told us to sing the chorus of Sa 'Yo Lamang wholeheartedly, meaning every word that we say. I was hesitant to stand. I prayed, and all I said to God was "Lord, kayo na po bahala. Gusto kong magserve, basta kayo na bahala". Then I stood up and sang the song with teary eyes. I am afraid. I am so afraid. But today's scripture told me that I should not doubt nor fear.
God is and will always be with me. I should learn to trust without fear.
A vision appeared to me while I was praying the rosary:
MALLARI KEREN GRAINE CANETE
I saw my name in the list of CPA board passers. I will become a CPA and God was assuring me of that. And I know that He wants me to forget the fears in my heart. He wants me not to worry about things because He'll take care of the rest. He is the God of the impossible. He will work for good to all those who love Him.
I am God's servant. I am here to serve His kingdom. And in Him, I will fear no more.
Lord, thank you! :)
