Simbang Gabi :)

9 Novena Masses, 9 different Churches, 1 prayer, 1 hopeful wish.

A Blessed Christmas!

1 – Abbey of Our Lady of Monserrat (San Beda College, Mendiola, Manila)

2 – St. Jude (Malacañang, Manila)

3 – Congressional Village Church (Project 8, Quezon City)

4 – Immaculate Concepcion (Cubao)

5 – Our Lady of Fatima (Bacood, Manila)

6 – Chapel of Our Miraculous Medal (Manuela 4B, Las Piñas)

7 – Our Lady of Fatima (Las Piñas)

8 – Chapel of the Holy Family (Camella, Las Piñas)

9 – Church of the Gesu (Ateneo De Manila Chapel, Quezon City)

tears

There's a belief that when you have a mole on your face where tears flow, it is 100% certified that you are iyakin. There's also a belief that when your mother cries often while you are still in her womb, you're also going to be iyakin. If these two beliefs are only beliefs, then I believe them.

 

I am a certified iyakin. I cry when I'm happy, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, blessed, overjoyed, touched. Tears would often show my emotions. My tears are my shelter. My tears are my armor. And I would always thank the Lord for blessing me with tears because they never failed to comfort me.

The BIG revelation

Words are really powerful especially when they're from a person whom you trust. For the past few days, I admit that "his" words had been the center of my thoughts. I don't like to share anymore what "he" told me but I was really disturbed and terrified. But my ever loving Father reminded me tonight that HE is more powerful than anything. HE sent "him" to me just to warn me of the possibilities that may happen if I don't act now. Those are just possibilities. They are not yet realities. And I can still do my part not to make them happen.

It will only take the Feast Manila to make me decide that I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY SERVICE. It will be really challenging on my part but I know that there are other things that I should and I must give up rather than my service. HE doesn't want me to give up my service. I felt HIM when the Feast started. I heard HIM telling me that if I would surrender "other things", I don't need to give up my service and that is what I would do.

All things are possible with God! I believe.

 

Anyway, let me share to you a little of me for the past few days…

November 12, 2009 is the beginning of my last semester in college. (yes, I claim it, this is my last! ^_^) There were not really a lot of changes when it comes to my study habits. The fact that I am always tired from commuting everyday contributed to my laziness and my consistent need for sleep. I DON'T STUDY AT HOME. With all the activities lined up at the beginning of the semester, I wasn't really focused in studying. I was too focused with JPIA to the point that I can choose it over my studies. But I must not.

November 30, 2009 is the beginning of a new Keren. God blessed me with a dorm where I can really concentrate and rest. God provided me with a roommate who is very diligent. God supplied me with all the necessities and I need. And all I need to do now is to study, do my part, and have faith. I am praying for my miracle, and on this day, I PROMISE to do my share then let God do the rest.

God is with me. Mama is interceding for me.

 

It's been 5 days now since we last talked. It feels different. And I would not deny that a part of me misses him a lot. But this is what I have to do so I could fully heal. I love him. And I don't know when I would stop. All I have to do now is stop expecting and focus more on graduating. If he's really for me, I know that God will have HIS way to give us the perfect timing. I could still remember that I would always pray to God that "Lord, kung para siya sa 'kin, ibigay niyo po siya. Pero kung hindi talaga, wag niyo na lang siyang ibigay." Too many deadlines already lapsed and I am still here hoping that maybe, it's just not yet the right time. But I know that time will come that I will no longer hope because I already accepted that it was a NO after all this time. :)