Sikretong Malupit

Siya ay mayroong sikretong malupit
Na kahit magipit
'Di maiipit

Bagamat patuloy na nag-iisip
'Di mo pa rin mahahagip
Kahit ika'y sumipsip

Hindi mo ito makikita
Lalong hindi mahahalata
Gano mo man buksan ang mga mata

At kahit ika'y tumakbo
Patuloy niya itong itatago
Hanggang lumago

Siguro nga siya'y talo
Maaaring magmukhang gago
Ang utak ay nagloloko

Siya at ako ay iisa
Naiintindihan mo ba?
O tatakas na lang din katulad nila?

Oo ito'y magulo
Mag-isip hanggang matanto
Pero sa ngayon, didiretso munang banyo...

Old or Wise?

The night has been filled with different stories from different people who matter to me. I may not be their closest friend and I am not the person whom they always run to whenever they have problems but I'm glad and blessed to be here for them. I am really grateful for their trust and confidence on me.

Friends, thank you. You make me feel important and trustworthy. You filled my love tank with love. I love you. I really hope that everything will be well soon.

*hugs*

Ano ang mas mahirap?

Ano ang mas mahirap?

 

Magkunwaring gising o magkunwaring tulog?

Magkunwaring masaya o magkunwaring malungkot?

Magkunwaring may alam o magkunwaring walang alam?

Magkunwaring naiintindihan o magkunwaring nalilito?

Magkunwaring umiiyak o magkunwaring tumatawa?

Magkunwaring mahal o magkunwaring hindi mahal?

 

Bakit nga ba naimbento ang salitang "kunwari"?

Bakit nga ba kailangang magkunwari?

Hindi ba pwedeng ung totoo na lang palagi?

madaling araw na, ang daldal mo pa. tsk.

ang balak: matulog ng maaga. gumising ng maaga. tumulong mag-ayos para sa mga darating na bisita.

Pero mukhang hanggang balak na lang 'yun dahil hanggang ngayon, gising pa din ako. :((

Bakit nga ako gising pa? Hay, hindi ko rin alam. Ang alam ko lang, inaantok na ako pero ang diwa ko'y gising na gising pa. Parang humahanap ng mga sagot sa tanong na hindi pa natatanong at naiisip. Buti pa ang mga tanong na 'yon, may sagot na. Eh ang mga tanong ko, meron na kaya? (aysus, ano na naman ba 'to???)

Sabog. Parang addict lang. Nagsusulat, pero wala namang patutunguhan. Nag-iisip, wala naman talagang kahulugan. Ganito ba talaga 'pag walang magawa kahit na madaming kailangang gawin? Sa madaling salita, ganito ba talaga 'pag TAMAD....???

Ano nga ba ang point ng blog na 'to??? >>> wala lang. Gusto ko lang magsulat, bakit ba? :))

Pero alam mo, sa gabing ito (madaling araw pala), meron akong napagtanto....

Sa buhay natin, kailangan lang natin minsang lumayo, namnamin ang sakit pagkatapos ay pakawalan ito. Subukang mabuhay ng normal at hayaan lang ang panahon ang maghilom ng mga sugat ng nakaraan. Minsan nakakainip, madalas nakakabagot, pero ano naman ang paghihintay ng saglit kung ang kapalit naman nito ang habambuhay na tunay na kaligayahan na walang ni konting kirot at poot na nadarama?

Hindi bago ang mga desisyon na nangangailangan ng panahon. Minsan, kailangan munang magpalipas ng oras, huminto, manahimik at mag-isip. Dapat hindi nagmamadali dahil baka sa pagkakataong ito, maging katotohanan na ang lahat ng panaginip. Hindi na tayo masasawi at higit sa lahat, makita na ang matagal nang hinahanap. Baka sa pagkakataong ito, dumating na ang tamang pagkakataon sa tamang panahon.

Tanging panahon lang ang makapagsasabi at ang tanging magagawa ko lang ay ang maghintay. :) 

Tama na, tulog na, kainan na mamaya. :D

 

I can't remember... :(

I found this message in my phone written last March 26, 2010.

"It was after all for my own good so that I need not to choose nor take sides.I may have hurt now but I know that He just rescued me from a deeper pain that I might encounter in the future if I should have indulged myself now. It was not easy to understand nor to accept but I trusted Him, followed Him with eyes closed and let Him have His way in every step. It may have took me a while before I had the courage to take a step and move forward, but who cares? At least I realized that not all "yes" are really "yes", that true friends keep their promises and that His love is far more greater than anything this world could offer."

As much as I tried to remember the reason why I wrote this, I just can't. I wish I could remember soon. I'm kinda bothered and confused. :|

Ano daw?

Ang mundo, malaki, malawak, madaming tao. Pero minsan, sa dami ng tao, maguguluhan ka't malilito kung sino ba talaga ang pagkakatiwalaan mo. O minsan, alam mo naman kung sino, sadyang takot ka lang magtiwala ulit.

Minsan sa buhay, darating ka pala sa punto na gusto mo na lang tumakbo at mawala sa kawalan. Minsan, gusto mong tumawa hanggang kabagin ka, o umiyak hanggang wala ng luha ang papatak mula sa iyong mga mata. Minsan gusto mong maraming kasama, magulo, maingay, makulit. Pero minsan gusto mo lang din mapag-isa, tahimik lang.

Sa iyong pagtakbo palayo sa realidad ng mundo, minsan bigla ka na lang matitigilan. At pagkatapos ng malalim na pagninilay-nilay sa mga bagay-bagay, mapapisip ka, "ako ba talaga 'to?", "ano nga bang ginagawa ko sa buhay ko?".

Mananahimik, mapapaisip. At sa pag-iisip, malalamang alam mo naman pala talaga ang sagot sa iyong mga kabaliwan. Hindi ka nalilito lalong hindi naguguluhan. Gusto mong tumakbo at mawala sa kawalan dahil ang katotohanan ang iyong gustong talikuran, isang katotohanang sumasalamin sa isang pangalan na nagpapakita ng kabuuan.

Pero sa ngayon, tatahimik ka na lang muna, muling mag-iisip sa gitna ng kawalan. Dahil sa pagkakataong ito, gusto mo maging sigurado sa lahat ng gagawin mong desisyon. Hindi ka naman nagmamadali. Alam mong madami ka pang oras at ito'y gagamitin sa wastong paraan. Uupo sa isang tabi, magninilay-nilay, at hinhintayin ang tamang panahon at ang tamang pagkakataon.

Dahil sa mundong ating ginagalawan, tanging panahon lang ang makakapagsabi. At wala kang pakealam sa tagal ng panahon sapagkat handa kang hintayin ang sasabihin nito. *(^_^)*

Farewell Ate Ava…

If only I knew earlier, I could have visited her.

 

Ate Ava, I know you're in a better place now. Thank you for all the kindness. I was shocked by the news but what you did was really noble. I wish I knew earlier. I will never forget how kind you are to me, your softness and your warmth. Your mission here is finished, just pray for us down here. We'll pray for you.

Thank you. Heaven gained another angel because of you. Send my regards to my mom.

Staying away…

I know that they play an important part of my life.

But for now, I just want to stay away.

I'm living in fantasy, free from worries.

And if I have a choice, I don't want this to end…

BUT I know this will end.

Real soon.

I just want to make the most out of it.

Meet new friends and build new relationships.

I just want to be here, sheltered from the world for now.

Trip lang

badtrip.bakit?ewan.kainis.ssssh.cellphone.laptop(blaze).

Para saan? Baka doon. Siguro nga. Baka hindi. Sigurado ka?

Weird. Strange. Odd. Peculiar. Different. Unusual. Extraordinary.

Keren Graine Mallari deactivated her Facebook account…

BAKIT????

Trip lang.

Pero trip nga lang ba?

O may mas malalim na dahilan?

Hush….

My BIG thank you… :)

I learned that in this life, not everything will work out as planned. My supposed to be 3 years and 2 terms in college became 5 years. I left my dream school and went to a new one that I never knew existed until I actually set foot on its grounds. It was heartbreaking at first, but when I realized His reasons, I became submissive to His plans. I'm glad that I took the longer road, because if not, I will not be blessed to meet new people whom I will build lifelong friendships. And with this, I want to thank everyone who took part in my 5-year journey…

 

To Daddy and Tita Yeng, thank you for introducing me to this field and for not allowing me to give up on this dream when I was about to give it up. Thank you for your constant reminders and tutoring.

 

To Uncle Jun, thank you for all the financial and moral support you gave me throughout my college. I owe you big time. I promise not to put to waste everything that you've invested on me and to always pay it forward.

 

To my C33 blockmates and fellow LAmb 2k6, thank you for a very memorable first year college in La Salle. Thank you for your unending friendship even if I'm already a Bedan. I miss you.

 

To XJs (Bf, Grax, Nanna, Te Nel, Kat, Kris, Ern), you're the most beautiful barkada San Beda could offer. The universe conspired for us to meet and become the best of friends. Our sisterhood will be for keeps. Thank you for helping me accept my fate and for being there for me all throughout especially during the most trying times.

 

To my "boy friends" (Rjadz, Ketts, Pio, Rabena, Ada), thank you for being a friend when I felt that I was alone and had no friends left to be with me every single day. You never failed to make me feel secured when I'm with you.

 

To my dearest batchmates, thank you for letting me feel a little heaven in every deadly school day. Learning is fun because you're around. I will surely miss our classroom parties. :D Let's make history and aim for 100%. :)

 

To the A.Y. 07-08 and A.Y. 08-09 JPIA officers, thank you for your friendship , for helping me develop my leadership skills and for entrusting JPIA to me.

 

To Atty. Llave and my beloved 09-10 JPIA officers, thank you for your respect and trust. You're the best batch of officers that I've ever worked with. I couldn't ask for more. It was my pleasure working with you. We did it! Congratulations for a job well done! :)

 

To our Professors, thank you for patience and unselfishness. I may not remember all the accounting theories and concepts that you taught us but I will always keep in mind all the life's lessons you imparted to us. Thank you for helping us prepare for the real world that awaits us.

 

To my LOJ-Youth Family, thank you for always believing in my capabilities, for praying for me and for giving me the opportunity to serve in the midst of my toxic academic life.

 

To my ever supportive Cañete and Mallari family, thank you for your overflowing love and support for me and for making me feel that I made you proud.

 

To my most cherished gems, Papa, Ate Kay and Jem, thank you for everything, for always being there and for always understanding my mood swings. I love you always.

To my dearly loved guardian angel, Mama, you have a better view of my graduation watching it from the sky. :) I'm sorry because you can no longer wait for this day. Thank you for inspiring me. Your memories never failed to remind me of His purpose why I was brought to San Beda. I hope I made you proud. I love and miss you so much.

 

And to You Lord, my loving and loyal confidant, thank You for having Your way and allowing me to experience life. Thank You for still leading me to the same destination. That in all things, may You always be glorified!

 

"That in all things, God works for good to all those who love Him.

Those whom He has called according to His purpose…"

-Romans8:28-