Jeep

I don't like walking to school. I hate the feeling of the sweat flowing at my back. I don't like the feeling of stickiness after walking. I want to be fresh whenever I go to school. So, I prefer to ride the bus (which will take me about 30 minutes from Lawton to San Beda) instead of the jeep (which will only take me 10 minutes).

I could still remember the time when I excluded myself from my friends and find some time alone at St. Jude. I was looking for an Adoration Chapel near San Beda since last February 2008. I asked. But it seems that churches near my school don't have one (or it's just the people's innocence that they didn't know that there's an existing Adoration Chapel in the church). Anyway, I end praying and crying inside St. Jude on that fateful day. As much I wanted to have a solemn personal time with God as I cried my heart out during that time, I ended up finding silence in my heart.

It was a busy Monday for me. It's not the usual "petiks mode" during Sundays. It was "cramming mode". I have lots of things to study in TAX that I don't even know where to focus. I enjoyed solving problems though, but I hate the feeling of not knowing if I have studied enough or not. I stole an hour of sleep in during my morning and afternoon review. Then had a 2-hour sleep (from 11:30 to 1:30) this morning. I didn't sleep much. I am used to that even during high school. But unlike the feeling in high school in which you are confident to answer an exam because you know you've studied well, my morning review sessions now in college doesn't give me the feeling of security and confidence that I can hurdle the exam.

My Catholic Faith something that I've been cherishing for years. I am blessed to know God since I was born. I am blessed to grow up in a family that taught me who God is. And I am grateful for this Faith. If not for this, I wouldn't have been optimistic about things. If not for this, I would have taken my life a long time ago. If not for this, I wouldn't look forward for hope.

After a year and a half of looking for an Adoration Chapel near my school, I finally found one. It will now be my safe heaven. The place that I will always visit from now on. The reason that I am now looking forward to ride a jeep instead of a bus. Walking will not be an issue anymore. I already found my motivation.

God affirmed to me again today that He'll never leave and I should not be afraid. I am scared. But I am holding on to my faith and to His promise.

Thank you Lord for this faith. :)

 

"The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you;

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Do not be afraid; Do not be discouraged."

-Deuteronomy 31:8-